Mama Byrd

Elizabeth and Caleb recently returned from a brief trip to my parents’ house. Trips to Papa’s house almost always result in an Elizabeth story, because for some reason she says things to my dad that she wouldn’t say to anyone else.

The funniest example of this occurred during a visit over Christmas break, when my dad happened upon Elizabeth hitting her Grandma while she was being given her nightly bath. When asked what prompted her to hit her grandmother, Elli looked my dad straight in the face and said, “Grandma started it.”

This incident was fresh on our minds as Lannie and I drove to pick the kids up this week. We wondered aloud if Grandma had started anything with Elli this week.

When we received a behavior report from my parents, we were rewarded with another Elizabeth story.

According to my dad, the grandparents were treated with numerous “shows” throughout the week, including an art show, a dance show and numerous performances of a pint-sized and off-key (if enthusiastic) version of “American Idol.”

It was during one of these AI demonstrations that my dad butted heads with the Pixie Tyrant. After dinner, he was informed that the show would begin soon and he would be the judge. He went to the computer to work rather than reporting to the living room for duty. Once again, the Pixie Tyrant informed him that he should move to the living room to be the JUDGE, and he told her that he could hear their show just fine from the computer. He was reprimanded with a sigh and an eye roll, only to be greeted a few minutes later with one more reminder that he should get up from the computer and go be the JUDGE.

When he disregarded the Pixie’s demands for the third and final time, she calmly and rationally declared, “Papa, you’re fired. Grandma, you’re hired. You will be our Judge now.” Grandma, a little more compliant than Papa and not one to start something with Elli again, graciously obeyed.

Look out, Donald Trump. Elizabeth is not afraid to fire relatives.

Filed under: Uncategorized on March 24th, 2006