Mama Byrd

Several years ago, during a staff development meeting, a co-worker was assigned to describe me in one word. He said I was “Martha-ish.”

At first I didn’t know what that meant. Did he mean I was like Martha Stewart? Since it was a Christian organization, I quickly picked up that he meant I was like Martha of Bethany, sister of Mary and Lazarus (who really wasn’t that different from Martha Stewart, come to think of it).

I was a little offended. After all, Martha was the sister Jesus reprimanded for being too busy, right? In Luke 10:41-42, He says to her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

In retrospect, I can see that my co-worker was right. I am a lot like Martha. I enjoy having people over to my house for dinner, but I get bent out of shape, cooking and cleaning and generally trying to make everything perfect. I used to have friends over after church on Sundays, until Lannie pointed out that I got so frustrated about not having time to prepare before company arrived that I made everyone uncomfortable.

I read a commentary about Martha this week that really hit close to home. I had always interpreted Jesus’ words to Martha to mean it was more important for her to listen to what Jesus had to say than it was for her to fuss over the meal preparations. I still think that’s a big part of it. Many times I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, doing something that Jesus hasn’t asked me to do, when what He really wants is for me to be still and listen.

There is also a lesson about hospitality in the story of Martha, as this commentary pointed out. Specifically, it is a lesson about what hospitality is not.

Hospitality is not impressing others with a fancy multiple-course meal or a spotless house. Martha could have prepared a simple meal and then had time to sit and enjoy Jesus’ company. Hospitality should be about building and strengthening relationships.

What is my motive for having people over to my house? Usually, it is to get to know someone better or to visit with friends. But how often do I spend so much time worrying about cooking and cleaning that I’m either too tired or too distracted to enjoy the company of my friends? That is just sad.

Today, as I was vacuuming and preparing spaghetti sauce in anticipation of a visit with a friend, I was again convicted by the story of Martha. My friend has a new baby, and her husband is out of town for work. Do I think she cares more about what I cook or about having a chance to eat while someone else holds her baby? Will she be checking for dust on my bookshelves or enjoying a conversation with a grown-up?

I need to learn from my Martha-ish tendencies and try to be a little more like Mary.

Filed under: Bible, hospitality, stay at home mom on March 22nd, 2010