Phillip, Caleb, Elizabeth and I sat at the DMV yesterday for FIVE HOURS. Yes, you heard me right. It was Monday, it was the first business day of the month, and I stupidly thought it wouldn’t take so long that I couldn’t run in with the kids and quickly get a driver’s license. After all, in Arkadelphia it only takes 20 minutes (sometimes less if there’s not a line).

I should have known better when I saw people waiting outside to get into the building. I really should have known better when I finally got into the building and saw 60 or more people crowded into one room. In that one room, they conducted all of their business, including TESTING. Yes, they give people written tests with 60 or more people in the room. That’s one way to cut down on the amount of teenagers with a driver’s license.

The children were…well, in their defense, it was hot, they were bored, and we were there for FIVE HOURS. I entertained them as best I could, but after 3 hours, Phillip and I were asked to leave. Seriously. The lady with the official Tennesee Department of Motor Vehicles shirt asked me to leave after I’d waited all afternoon. She told me Phillip was making too much noise, and that people were testing. We could come back into the room after the testing stopped at 3:30. So we stood outside and Caleb waited for my number to be called. Phillip and I and all of the smokers waited outside in the 92 degree weather for an hour and a half. Then we were allowed back into the building. It was the most unbelievable thing I’ve ever experienced as a mom.

After they finally called my number, I took the eye test, had my picture taken, and signed my name. Then the computer broke. I’m not kidding. I think I broke the camera. I waited another 30 minutes for them to fix it.

Seriously, people. If you don’t really know whether you’ve got your act together as a parent or not, wait until the DMV kicks you out for unruly behavior. It’s like official confirmation that you don’t know what you’re doing.

On a related note, one Shelby County organization that DOES know what they’re doing is the County Clerk’s office. It took me less than 30 minutes to get tags for both cars this morning. It ALMOST made up for yesterday. Not quite.